Brentwood (England)

For visitors who prefer to think of themselves as lovers, not fighters, The Swan is probably the only safe choice in the High Street, but in here you won't find the glamorous, orange-skinned creatures you may have admired in the TV documentaries that elevated Brentwood to national fame. The Swan has a civilized yard at the rear with plenty of seating for smokers and lovers of fresh air. The local wine society convenes mid-afternoon daily in this area for congenial chat over Superkings and Shiraz. There is parking too, but make sure you buy a drink.

To the north of the High Street lie the best bets for traditional pubs and a welcome for visitors from out of town. The Victoria Arms is cosy and old fashioned, with outside space, lots of ornaments inside and many whiskies to choose from.

For the beer drinker, The Rising Sun has by far the best selection of cask ales in town, including some local beers. It is cosy, warm, friendly and has parking and a small terrace where the Cheeky Cockle van sells vinegary seafood treats the equal of anything to be found at Leigh on Sea.

To the south of the High Street, there are a few traditional pubs which, while popular with locals, might seem intimidating to those unused to the ways of Essex and who suspect they may stand out. In the Gardener's Arms in Hart Street, Howard the barman once initiated generations of young Brentwoodians to the delights of Skol lager, but age has wearied them and Howard is long gone, taking the youthful with him. Lager, though not Skol, is still available as are the inevitable Greene King ales.

Lovely building. Towards the station, the Brewery Tap is on the corner of King's road and an attractive old lane, Primrose Hill, but we are a long way from NW1. The tiny interior is almost entirely walled with TVs, but there is plenty of outside space where you can sit among beautiful plants and... watch TV (the first outside TV I had ever seen). Gets a good score on Beerintheeveneing, though the beer itself is nothing special.

Calcott Hall Farm, up the Ongar Road to the north, just beyond the A12 bypass, sells its own excellent produce and other treats including very nice beer from the Brentwood Brewing Company. Probably the safest way to sample a Brentwood Blonde (it's a beer).